So, I’ve been hiding out for a little while and really haven’t posted too much. Not because I don’t have anything to say, but too much to say and at times it’s hard to get out.
I have a BIG birthday coming up and very much in denial about it. At first, I couldn’t figure out why it’s been bothering me. Then it came to me…
10 years ago I was celebrating my 40th birthday and was pregnant with the boys!! Thinking back to that time I had no idea what the next 10 years would hold. At that point, I had no idea I was having twin boys. I just knew I was very excited for our family of four. Did I know that 3 yrs down the road one of our babies would be diagnosed with Autism.. nope. I would think to myself, in ten years the babies will be almost 10 and I’ll be 50!!!
It seemed so far away, but its here.
It’s giving me complete anxiety and a little depression. It forces me to think about the boy’s future, especially Collin. Collin has come so far from since his diagnosis, but we know the autism journey is a lifelong one with twist and turns and a few bumps in the road.
We still deal with meltdowns over denied access to something he wants and the older he gets the stronger he gets. This is the biggest challenge for me and gives me anxiety. Being an autism parent you are always “on” trying to foresee what could trigger a meltdown and what you do to diffuse it quickly, but with meltdowns, they could last 10mins to 90 mins and priority number one is to keep everyone safe.
Thankfully he’s been getting ABA therapy for the past three years and he’s made tremendous progress.
I sit here now and wonder what he’s going to be like at 20 years old? What challenges will we be facing and what achievements will we celebrate?
With all that being said I try to remember age is just a number for me and for Collin and try not to put too much pressure on either one of us.💙